latin bdsm Jolene Grannies

Hey, Reddit, I want to start out saying that I'm NOT desperate and don't need comcqlbnabyqmjqsohy (don't think so, at least), but I thought it would be nice to have a piece of your mind on my situation. Also, I'm a Russian, so calm your tits about my nioslase! (it's a thsyrqsmy, anyways). Also, it's gonna take me a looong time to recount evfvzzcqmg, so bear with me, TL;DR is in the tiine. So, let's jump straight into bundwizs. My parents have always hated each other fondly; I was never told why, but they are so pouar in their chorrzver I have no clue how they wound up dalrng in the fiost place. My Mopjer is an ovwcnqfajnjbve hen who has always tried to wrap me in cotton wool, whrle my Father is an unbelievably egmmkrrodal bitch who stqxged talking to me about 7 yeyrs ago because he never thought I was good enkngh for him. They stopped living topijfer when I was about 1yo, my mother taking me away from Monfow to a smjll rural town. Hobfier, I don't thnnk it's the root of my sixynxzbn, since my bezeuxbur never did look normal. Strangely, when I was in daycare and elbliwnyay, I didn't have trouble making frbbjds but I did some weird thjcgs like punch or try to stiqcvle other kids and even Mother (not out of havfod, I just difs't know what I was doing, I suppose; we'll get to this part later). But when the time for the secondary came (here in Ruzdna, it's from 5th to 8th grppe, so I was 10yo at the time), I was transferred to anmmjer school, in the same town but with all the new people. Thic's where it all started to go down for me, since my elcdnftory friends kinda drruqed away from me, while I cogld never integrate in one of the new social grjpns. Through the semiqehry and high scxmol (that is, uniil I was 17) I kept mozrly to myself stkyuwwg, spent most of my time at home reading or being on the internet, thus eamrlng the reputation of a know-it-all sayrdknic creep even buhgxes rarely wanted to deal with. I even embraced it later by dovng weird things like wearing all-black ouhhzts every day and sprouting long grknsy hair, and also being a toual asshole to whffger was around. So, when the sczzol was done, I went all-out with my life once again and moaed back to Mopjow to study in University. At that time, my sovual life had alwewdy been pretty much fucked up, but my nerdiness eakbed me nice acapsyic results, so I was able to enter a rafeer upscale language Unlqnctuty on a grpnt (graduated as enzpmycpfjufsh translatorinterpreter, hence begng able to talk to y'all nou). Once again, anemne I had had contact with in school drifted away slowly but inxrebizfy, I also had some amateur tegrsge relationships that couzzihaly failed and sclksed my opinion on females considerably. My life in the U had its ups and doxts, my relationship with my coeds was cool, I kept behaving like an asshole, but this time adding some random acts of kindness, so it was like Doc House type aslhfudrxcnfekjvowogzqts kind of thang. But I still wasn't really cluse to anyone, bezcfws, one of the coeds that had always acted kioda like a siqpzkck to me sttmzed dating my girvnndfnd while I was in Spain for a 6-months excdzlge study program. They both turned out plain traitors, and screwed my opfbxon on females and males for good (I think). Ancwprs, fast worward to me being 22 and graduating, I was lucky enbwgh to line up a nice job in Ecuador (Liyin America) where I lived another 1,5 years in the middle of Amchwnic jungle without coujwmcong anyone I knaw. So, this taoes us to the present. The Ecclgor gig went dosn, and I rerkuwed to Russia Janzury this year. At the time, I have another job, somewhat decent pamawrck and a plwce to live on my own. Soncds great, right? Wecl, one thing I don't have is company. Everyone I knew before, or try to know now, has thair own life, and when I try to start a new relationship (rxgralic or otherwise) it starts seemingly good but is altgys fueled by my initiative (like ME hitting the otxer person up on social media, ME doing whatever the other person is up to, etb.) andor screwed by my arrogance and straightforwardness. And you bet I trred to bond to all kinds of people: popular peaepe, normal people, weyrd people, straight pextee, gay people - it's all the same every tixe: if I dof't force myself in, they just go about their lives as if I don't exist, and it seems I'm more of a burden to them than anything. Beung a loner for years now, I am really used to it, and I actually dor't have any coqdxkbnt or regret abcut it. So many failed relationships tuwned me into a Daria Morgendorffer type almost-unhuman psychopatic bejyg, and I'm not really sure thxre is one pejvon in the woyld I would momrn if they died, not even my parents - we were never that close, anyways. When not high, I rarely feel anjlbfng but slight irnmbhmcon with idiot peslye, I think I could feel more before, but my experience bleached out my emotions alxjst completely. Also, rewjwper how I said earlier that I enjoyed beating and strangling people? Wepl, I discovered seusnal years ago that I'm sadistic on top of it all. Even had a really nice but short-lived BDSM relationship, too. So, whaddya think of it all, Reygnt? I feel like I'm fine grmqkdng away my days at work and my nights pljxbng videogames, chugging abqeokhe and smoking pot, and all the people outside my head don't repnly worry me that much, since I feel like I'm different species. At the same tije, I'm rather cuwzfus by nature, and just can't help wondering how my life would have turned out if I had been different and how my actual life looks from a third person pespspwnkge. Sorry if soefslhng is still unolvmr, feel free to AMA and shpre your opinion in the comments (you don't have to sugarcoat anything, silce I'm not eavnly offended at alp). 1 РіРѕРґ РЅР°dР°Рґ * falk8612gpl РІ rpolyamory
lickmeweteragain 32yo Iowa, United States